The current discussion around our new “values” document caused me to reflect on a panel presentation about “Kendal Values” that took place in the auditorium in September 2017. It was sponsored by Kendal Friends Meeting. That was before my time at Kendal, but fortunately there is a document with the texts prepared by the four panelists, and through those I have learned how important an event this was for our community.
Three of the four panelists are still residents: Betty Warner, Tom Paxton, and David Leonard. The fourth panelist, Lark Worth, died recently.
You’ll need to read the document to really appreciate the presentation, but let me provide a bit of introduction to the four texts.
Betty Warner spoke first, and she was the only non-Quaker on the panel. She points out that the values are different at different Kendal retirement communities—each is unique. Betty singles out five values that she believes we share at Kendal at Longwood. One example: we “attempt to speak truth, but soften it with respect and an aversion to confrontation.” Betty notes that she initially found the way the KRA is run to be highly “inefficient”, compared with other organizations she had been involved with. Later, she came to realize that a Quaker approach, for all it lacks in efficiency, can be very effective.
Lark Worth came next, and she discussed values in the context of a broad sweep of Kendal’s history. She recalled being a teenager in a family where her parents, who were a key part of the founding group, were discussing at the dinner table what Kendal should be like, many years before it actually opened. Lark also described the acronym “SPICES” and its limitations as a guide to Quaker values. She recounted the genesis of the “Untie the Elderly” campaign and many other distinctive aspects of Kendal. In conclusion, Lark proposed a new “value”: “getting old can be fun”.
The third panelist was Tom Paxson. He addressed Kendal’s values in the context of decision-making. Tom explained the typical way Quakers approach business decisions, and the extent to which that could apply at Kendal. At the core, it requires each participant to seek to understand where each of the others is coming from, knowing that we each have only partial knowledge of any given situation. Tom reviewed the implications of this approach: avoiding votes, listening deeply, and speaking to the issue at hand. He distinguished between unanimity (or complete agreement by everyone) and a “sense of the meeting,” and how that distinction can be critical.
David Leonard was the final speaker. He spoke about “Quaker values you may hear around the dining table at Kendal,” and the ways that Quaker values show up in daily life. He reminded his listeners of why Quakers were once known as “peculiar people” (which some of us still may be) and about Quaker views on how to deal with disagreement. David pointed out the ways that integrity, simplicity, equality, and peace, all essential Quaker values, can be noticed in daily life at Kendal.
As I look at these brief descriptions, I am dismayed by how little of the essence of these messages I have conveyed. Each of these four speakers had insights that can’t even begin to be characterized in a short paragraph. And these are insights that are critical to the discussions we are currently having about values.
For the real meat of their remarks, you must read what they wrote. The link to download the full text is here:
https://kendaljourney.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/shared-values-panel-2017.docx
On the Kendal Journey 
I received the following comment from Harry Hammond, who gave me permission to post it here on his behalf. — George
August 29, 2023
The texts that George reintroduced throw light onto how Kendal at Longwood’s founders and generations of other board members, residents, and staff worked together to grow what had been created into all that’s here for us, everything from health services, cottages, and the KRA to neighbors-supporting-neighbors and George’s “On The Kendal Journey.” As a set, the texts open our eyes to Kendal’s backstory – the story behind the story. That backstory is that Kendal at Longwood’s people modeled how to “live in the world as it should be.”
In recent years KCC architects, board, administrators, staff, and RA-nominated residents from each of the four communities have been planning, with periodic KAL resident-input, major facility improvements. The café and numerous small construction projects are underway. Renovation and expansion of the Health Center is set to begin in 2024.
The way change happens here continues to be controversial. Another now-underway major project, KCC’s disaffiliation from The Kendal Corporation and Kendal System, was decided without any notice to, nor input from, the resident community. And in each of Lisa Marsilio’s written monthly updates, we see, between the lines, her encouragement to join her in conceiving of KCC as being one big community, rather than four.
Perhaps the administrative advantages of additional uniformity across KCC are worth the change. But what disadvantages will flow from the reality of KCC’s far flung sub-communities (or whatever they’ll be called)? Unlike neighborhoods in a small town, KCC’s four communities are more like separate towns. Most of us never get to see, let alone interact with and work alongside the 500 or more residents in those other 3 communities? Such concerns make George’s spotlight on the four texts especially timely. Efforts to revitalize that other old but perhaps most precious feature of KAL, the resident community, would benefit from thoughtful, inclusive, deep attention to its health, including to its “wholeness” and “integrity.”
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